just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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