I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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