So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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