im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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