woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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