i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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