Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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