you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
