I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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