all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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