onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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