I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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