help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
