Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
