yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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