sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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