ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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