Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize