Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
