I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
