Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
