I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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