She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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