The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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