Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
