i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
