so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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