pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
