Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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