do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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