dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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