Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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