The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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