I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
