When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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