you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
