The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You made out with two different species that night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
