in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
