So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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