I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You ate ashes out of my bong
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize