I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
