Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"