sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?