I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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