imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize