8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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