I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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