I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
