I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
