Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
