love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he laminated a picture of his dick.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
