He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
