hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
