I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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