I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
