Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
