White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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