I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
