I CAN MOONWALK!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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