Don't you send me to vm
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
