Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
