I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
