I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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