Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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