i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize