so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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