all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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